Saint Mark Announces Cure for Mosquito Bites!

Saint Mark, who works with http://www.SaintsforSinners.com and is often invoked and asked for help when flies and mosquitos are biting, has announced that he is helping to develop a pill that humans can take to ward off those pesky bites.

This will probably be very good news for athletes playing sports in the summer, like the "Geaux Cups," an accomplished team of softball players in New Orleans, Louisiana and pictured above. There are still a "few kinks in the line, however," Saint Mark said, adding "I'm trying to get the pill approved and used in Africa, because mosquito bites are sometimes lethal over there."

The medicine is called "ivermectin," or Mectizan, depending on who is talking about it. According to New York Times reporter Donald McNeil, Jr., scientists are "turning people into human time bombs for mosquitos." He writes that "when mosquitos bite people who have recently swallowed the drug, ... they die."   

Unfortunately, though, some people are dubious as to whether the medicine can really work effectively. A worm guy ( also known as a "parasitologist" ) is somewhat dubious: Dr. Frank O. Richards, from the Carter Center in Georgia, commented that "it's very difficult to say 'Let's treat a million people' - and then have to test each one." Apparently, for the medicine to be effective, all the people in the mosquito-ridden area have to take the pill at the same time." Saint Mark acknowledged that fact is troublesome, but he has asked Saint Matthew, the patron Saint of Accountants, to figure out a way to get millions of people to do something all at the same time and in the same area. Saint Matthew acknowledged the difficulty presented, but said he may be able to work the numbers, adding, "I've got a stellar abacus!"